Falling down
by Holger Dansk
Summary: Dating Curly Shepard, she thought she had it all. A boyfriend she loved, his house to go to and his sister as the sister she never got. That was until his older brother got out of jail and everything changed. For better or worse?
1. Chapter 1

_So this is my first story and I hope you will like it so please read it and leave a review!_

"Have you talked to your sister today?" I asked pushing him away from me making him stop kissing my neck, I couldn't think straight with his hot lips touching my skin like that. He huffed annoyed at being pushed away and mumbled;

"Angel? No, why?" he bent down and put his lips to my neck once more kissing it softly, I knew him, he didn't take no for an answer and there was no pushing him away. I couldn't help a small giggle escape as his warm breath tickled me making all the small hairs on my neck rise.

"She seems strange, as if she's sad or something" I managed to get out before pushing him of again, this time a bit harder. I mean I loved the way he touched me but sometimes I just wanted him to listen to me. He sighed and ran a hand through his greasy hair; I could tell he was slightly frustrated now.

"Why don't ya talk to her then, probably some girly thing anyway" he said and got up of the bed pulling his t-shirt back on. He was really irritated now almost angry.

I sighed knowing he would get his way as always and knowing I would be glad to make it happen. I stood up and walked over to him sneaking my arms around his waist from behind, I felt him draw a breath shakily and I knew he would give in to me. He turned around and put his big rough hands on either side of my head leaning down to kiss me.

* * *

An hour later I stood outside Angela's room knocking softly on it, I could hear a Beatles record playing silently from inside.

"What ya want?" I heard her somewhat shrill voice call to me.

She certainly had her brother's polite ways, I smiled slightly. She was actually a really nice girl once you got to know her, she was hard and cold like her brother but underneath she was just a normal teenage girl growing up in a bad environment. She was like a little sister to me, I never had any siblings so I loved spending time with her and helping her.

"Angel it's me" I said "Can I come in?"

I heard her getting up and walk around and then the lock clicked and the door opened. She was sitting on her floor leaning against the bed, the record player next to her and a magazine in her hands. She looked so young sitting there like that; I could suddenly see who she must have looked as a little girl. She looked up at me, her eyes big and blue, her black eyelashes bashing at me.

"How're ya doing?" I asked sitting down across from her pulling back my dark blond hair from my face. I saw a small smile forming on her beautiful doll like face.

"Ok I guess, I broke up with Jack today" she said her smile fading away, her eyes getting bigger and sadder and I wanted to hug her and comfort her. "Found out he had messed around with that whore Banning" she added her eyes getting harder and her lips forming a sneer as her hands holding the magazine gripped it harder wrinkling it.

I felt my heart twitched for her, I didn't want her to turn out like all us other greaser girl, I didn't want her to swallow being mistreated or act like she didn't care, I wanted her to be happy and careless like she should be.

I didn't like the fact that she dated to begin with, she was only fourteen, way to young in my opinion, I remembered myself at fourteen and I wasn't all that innocent or happy for that matter, I just didn't want Angel to become like that. But looking at the hardness of her face and the anger in her eyes I knew it was to late but at least I could let her know she always had me to talk to that was better then I had had and maybe that could make a small difference at least.

"There's other fish in the sea" I said smiling at her knowing I did exactly the opposite of what I really wanted, I wanted her to show her feelings and I just helped her to mask them even more.

"I always thought Jack was an asshole anyway, you can do better then him" I saw a spark of hope in her eyes and then they turned determined and cunning and my heart ached for her lost innocent.

* * *

The next evening me and Curly were sitting in the living room couch watching some late night game show on the TV when Angela walked in her face glowing and her eyes glittering. I felt Curly tense up at the sight of her and he called out to her;

"Where the fuck've ya been?" he sounded really angry and I saw Angel's face turn sour and hard. I sighed wondering why he always did that, every time Angela was slightly happy Curly yelled at her but I knew by looking at his face as he got up of the couch that he was worried sick about her, it was written all over his face and in every word he spoke.

"None of your business bro" she answered and I could see Curly ball up his fist and clench his jaw.

"It's my fucking business bitch" he spat out and Angela flinched a little at his harsh words "It's one o'clock in the morning!" He was too angry to continue and I saw a tear find its way down Angela's cheek silently.

"Fuck of Curly, you're not my father!" she screamed at him her face turning red from anger "You're not even Tim!" she added as she ran up the stairs.

Curly stood glued to his spot not even watching her run of, his fists still clenched his back almost shivering with anger but I could also detect some hurt in the way his back was slightly hunched and the way he held his head a bit to high. I knew he hated being compared to his brother and I knew hated being forced to take his place.

He hated the fact that the gang didn't respect him as they did Tim and not even his own sister would listen to him, he hadn't asked to be in that position in the first place but he couldn't turn his brother down, he had to hold everything together until Tim returned to take over again.

Curly drew a sharp breath that made me want to break down the walls around him and force him to talk to me about it, but I knew he wouldn't. To him it would have been like betraying his brother's trust.

He walked over to a chair that served as a coat rack and picked up his leather jacket and without a word he walked out.

I didn't stop him and that made me feel shame about my own cowardice, I wasn't actually afraid of him, I knew he wouldn't hurt me but maybe I was a bit afraid about what would happen if he really would open up to me. I wasn't really sure I wanted to know everything about him.

Suddenly I came to think about Angela and I walked up the stairs to her room and walked in to find her lying on the bed crying while hugging her pillow. I walked over and when she noticed me she stopped bawling and tried to wipe her eyes and sit up. I sat down next to her throwing an arm around her tiny shoulders.

"He didn't mean any of it, he was just angry" I said not really knowing why she was crying.

"I don't care, I hate him" she sobbed furiously wiping the flowing tears from her eyes. "I want Tim back!" I felt a flicker of hurt on Curly's account knowing he wanted nothing but his brother to return but tried his hardest to kept things together.

"Curly wants that to ya know" I said a bit harsh "He was just worried about ya, it's a brother's job ya know?" I added softly trying to cover my little outburst.

"Tim never yells" she mumbled weakly blinking away the last of her falling tears. I sighed at that wondering why Curly and her just couldn't get along, wondering if it had always been like that or if it started when Tim left.

"Curly ain't Tim Angel, everybody's different, reacts differently" I said slowly as if explaining things to a small child, but Angela was too occupied with thinking to notice. Had it been an other time she would've bitten my head off.

I gave her shoulder a finally little squeeze and left her to her thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Here's the next chapter hope you like it and thanks to my two reviewers for reading my story and I hope you will continue to read it! Please do review!_**

I slammed the front door shut behind me and entered my home, my parent's small apartment in a big apartment complex on the slummier eastern outskirts of town. We had lived there since I was born and it was ok I guess, as a child I had loved it, having no brothers or sisters the playground outside the houses full of kids were where I got raised by the older children and looked up to by the younger. Now there weren't many children left in the neighbourhood, we had all grown up more or less.

As I walked over to my room the familiar smell of my dad's hair grease and my mum's cheap perfume mixed with the distinct smell of liquor and cigarettes. I figured my parents had had a party yesterday, they often did.

I got along fine with my parents better then most kids on the east side did I guess. They had been so young when I was born just fifteen. I had figured out long ago that I wasn't planned and probably not even really wanted, but I had always felt if not exactly loved by them then at least respected and liked.

They had done their best with me and with each other and for that I was eternally grateful to them, they were both still young, dad just turned thirty-two a week ago and I didn't have a problem with them partying, we just stayed out of each others personal lives as much as we could.

I loved the fact that they'd never forbid me to do anything or punished me for staying out all night or not doing y homework. The first night I got home drunk my dad just helped me to bed and my mom put a bucket next to it for me to throw up in and then they let me be, they didn't even wake me up for school the next morning.

All those small things made me like and respect them as persons but I can't really say that respected them as parents or that I felt loved and wanted at home, but I was aware of the fact that many of the other kids growing up on this side of town gladly would change places with me and that made me feel if not lucky then at least content with my situation.

I scanned my messy room for some clean clothes and once I had found some I stuffed them in a backpack and started picking up some makeup from the desk under the windowsill. Standing there I looked out the window at the playground below, it was totally empty. The wind made the swings move back and forth slowly giving the view a ghostly quality. I felt a chill slowly creep up my body and I removed my eyes from the swings. Instead I stood there watching as the leafs started whirling up against the sky feeling that the autumn really had come, the winds were changing and suddenly I felt that it wasn't just the winds.

Everything seemed to be changing. I didn't feel like a kid anymore, I even felt older and more mature then my parents sometimes. I turned abruptly from the window when I heard my mom's footsteps from the door.

"Oh, it's just you baby" she said yawning "Danny thought it was a burglar so he sent me" she raised her eyebrows and laughed a little.

She had always called me baby and somehow that made me a bit irritated, I knew she didn't really love me like a mother should love her child and that nick name was mocking even the thought about a loving mother- daughter relationship. She walked over to me the floor squeaking under her bare feet.

"So what'ya doing today baby?" she asked touching my long hair tentatively, her breath smelled of beer and vodka but I was used to it, I always associating those scents with my mom.

"Going back to Curly's" I answered walking back to my desk and grabbing some of the makeup I had been sorting putting it in the back pack. I heard my mom yawn again behind me and I rolled my eyes at her hangover thinking bitterly that she deserved it.

"Alright baby, call if ya need anything or come by" she said and smiled faintly at me, I felt my lips curling into a smile against my will. I had always had a hard time being angry or bitter about my parents, mostly they just left me not feeling anything, just numbon a good day.

* * *

Walking up the Shepard's front lawn I was greeted with screaming and shouting from inside, I could make out Curly's, his mother's and another male's voices through all the racket but I couldn't hear what they were arguing about. I tentatively opened the door and stepped in.

In front of the stairs Curly stood holding his cheek with one hand glaring furiously at his mother who stood in front of him her hand still raised from slapping him. She was a beautiful woman with exotic dark curly hair and wild grey eyes but the way she was staring at her son I was almost scared of her.

"I will not have that kind of talk in this house Curly" she said calmly but angry her eyes still fixed on her son who was now clenching and unclenching his jaws while boring his eyes into the man standing by his mother's side.

I recognised his step dad Leonard, a corpulent middle-aged man with yellow fingernails that couldn't keep his eyes of off any female that was in the same room as he, whether it was his wife or his stepdaughter or me.

"Fuck it Miriam, I will not have this fucking hood in the house!" he screamed at Curly "And when that other fucking JD gets out he's out of here too" he was looking at his wife now and I saw her eyes flashing at him.

Perhaps she wasn't the best at showing it but she loved her kids and she wouldn't kick them out even though she acted like she didn't care most of the time she really did care. I bitterly thought of my mom and how she was the exact opposite, thinking about it like that I couldn't decide who was better of, me or Curly?

"I'm sick of taking care of that mother fucking Shepard's kids!" he was really upset now, gesturing madly with his arms "Ain't my fault you couldn't keep you legs closed"

Curly was furious now practically spitting fire as he took the man by the collar of his shirt and pushed him backwards a few steps. "Don't talk to my mother like that you bastard!" he spitted out between his teeth. Lenny snarled but soon got control of the situation being a lot bigger then Curly and preyed his hands of pushing Curly hard against the wall making a picture fall down hitting Curly in the head. The air was knocked out of him and he tried to breathe while rubbing his forehead were a small trickle of blood was seeping out of a small cut.

"Don't you ever touch my son again you…you…" she couldn't think of anything to say as she looked at her husband poking him with a threatening finger in his chest "This is my house; don't forget that or you can just get the hell out of here!"

"As if I want to stay here anyway with a bitchy whore and her bastards" he retorted and turned around snorting angrily, he walked briskly past me not even seeing me while he mumbled;

"I can do so much better then you you slut"

I was a bit shocked at the whole scenario but walked over to Curly where he was now sitting on the first step of the stairs touching the cut in his head carefully, his eyes were still flashing with anger but they were a bit dazed and thoughtful.

His mother was standing next to him watching him but not really seeing him, she seemed to be deep in thought too.

"If only Tim were here" she stated in a muffled voice as she sighed and walked off.

I saw Curly's shoulders tense at that and I immediately knew that the argument had something to do with his brother. I saw his chest rise as he took a deep breath and stood up to face me, all resemblance of feelings were gone from his face and left was only his hard and cold mask with the empty eyes and the bitter smirk. He wiped off the small amount of blood from his forehead with the arm of his hooded sweatshirt.

"You feel like partying Stacey?" he asked as he threw an arm around my shoulders drawing me close to him. He smelled so good a mixture of cigarettes, hair grease and lemons. I nodded knowing he wouldn't rest until he was passed out drunk tonight anyway.

"Sure baby" I answered shrugging of the uneasy and dishonest feeling I got by using that nick name for Curly, after all I wasn't like my mother I didn't use that name unlike a really did love someone. I swallowed the growing lump in my throat and followed Curly out the door and into the cold autumn night.


	3. Chapter 3

_So here's the next chapter, I hope the story is beginning to interesting. Thank you for the nice reviews and advices! Hope you will continue to read it!_

"Hey Angel, you want a cup of coffee?" I asked as I saw Angela walking in the kitchen with slow and staggering steps, holding her head tightly with her small pale hands. Typical signs of a bad hangover.

It was the last week of summer for me and her and she was really taking full advantage of it, partying like crazy. Me and Curly partied almost every night too, but we'd been doing it for so many years that most of the time we just needed some coffee to start the day of pretty well regardless of our headaches.

I didn't really drink that much most of the time, I was hardly ever drunk when I was with Curly and the gang; I always wanted to be in control if anything should happen. Curly just seemed to have a thing for getting into trouble and if he was drunk he'd most likely make any situation even worse then it already was, so I felt like I needed to be at least in speaking condition.

"Yeah" Angel mumbled answering my question; she was sighing and muttering something silently to herself as she sat down next to me at the table. I poured her a cup of coffee and passed it to her, chuckling as I saw her wrinkle her nose at the smell.

"Fuck I'm hung over" she said as she shakingly lifted the cup to her mouth.

I watched with big eyes as her nose wrinkled and she frowned making some incomprehensible noises and then she was of the chair and out the door fast as lightening. I chuckled to myself as I put her cup down on a paper; she had put it down so hard that the coffee had splashed over the edge.

"What's with Angel?" I looked up to see Curly standing leaning his shoulder against the door frame clad in only a pair of blue jeans that made his dark blue eyes sparkle mischievously.

"Hung over" I said my own smirk matching the one that was forming on his handsome face. He laughed softly as he made his way over to sit down.

"Coffee?" I offered him Angela's untouched cup and he took it gulping it down in one go.

"So did ya have a good time yesterday?" he asked his eyes glittering as he scratched his chest.

"You should know" I said winking at him as I thought about what had occurred between us in the bathroom the night before while the music from the party was drowning all the noises we made.

I saw Curly smirk at me and he reached out a hand and grabbed mine over the table.

"Curly where's your sister?" Mrs Shepard or Langston more correctly was standing in the doorway watching us with her beautiful but hard face.

She was as cold as ice but in her eyes you could always see a glimmer of feelings and now she was watching her son with love and worry. Curly didn't turn to look at her and all he heard was her hard voice.

"Don't know mom, I'm not her keeper" he said and I saw the small loving gleam in her eyes die down.

"We don't have time for this attitude of yours today Curly so stop" she said coldly and sighing she continued "Lenny's taking her to the hairdresser in fifteen minutes so you better find her"

At that Curly dropped my hand and got up of his chair but it wasn't to go look for his sister.

"She's not getting in a car with _him _by herself" he said now standing in front of his mother his arms crossed over his bare chest making his back and arm muscles flex. His voice was calm but determined.

I could see where he was coming from, not wanting his fourteen year old sister in a car with a perverted old man.

"He's offered to drive her and she need's to get her hair done for tomorrow, you do remember about tomorrow don't you?" her voice was angry and annoyed, perhaps even a bit embarrassed about being confronted by her youngest son.

"You could take her yourself if you're so worried, but you're too preoccupied with your gang aren't you?"

Curly looked both furious and calm at the same time, his eyes were flashing at his mother but his brain seemed to be scheming rapidly.

"Tim's gang mom" he said coldly but detached.

"And you're going with her to the hairdresser, your hair ain't too pretty either" he was cramming a hand down his jeans pocket and got up some rolled bills which he put on the counter next to his stunned mother.

I was stunned to, I had never heard Curly command his mother to do anything, I had heard that his brother was good at that but I never thought Curly could do it, he couldn't even get Angel to listen to him. But this time it seemed to be working cause his mother just stood there paralyzed looking at the money on the counter as Curly walked passed her and exited the room.

* * *

"So what's happening tomorrow?" I asked Curly when we were alone in the house.

His mother had obediently put her best clothes on while me and Curly tried to wake Angela up from her sleeping position on the floor next to the toilette. After getting some water splashed at her she woke up from her mumbling and grumbling state and managed to say;

"Fuck you"

After she was that conscious it was easy to get her dressed and sent downstairs to her mother and Lenny who were waiting.

Lenny looked pissed; his eyes were dodging angrily between Curly, his wife and Angela. He ignored me except to let his eyes roam over my body quickly, making my stomach turn.

I was glad Curly had made his mother go with them, poor Angel had been too hung over to even realize who she was getting in a car with.

"Tim's getting out" was Curly's short answer. He didn't sound all that happy about it but I knew he was.

I think he was just bitter about the length his mother went to to greet Tim not even seeing all the things Curly did for them every day. I had seen him bring home both food and money to his mother but not once had I seen her thanking him, she was only sighing wishing for Tim to get home.

I knew both Angela and Curly missed their brother and I knew Curly felt somewhat lost without him there to tell him what to do but he had managed to keep the gang and the family together without Tim, but the sad thing was that I was the only one who realized it.

Curly had dropped out of school when Tim was sent to the slammer to make sure the gang would stay together for his brothers sake and to make money for his mother by working as a mechanic, I knew he didn't really miss school but he had some friends there that wasn't in his brothers gang and he had hardly seen them in half a year.

It just didn't seem fair that he had to give up his life to live as his brother. I couldn't help but asking myself if Tim would really want his brother to give up so much for him?

"What's he like your brother?" I asked wondering what the guy that the sun seemed to rotate around could be like, did he want the attention or did he receive it reluctantly? Was he everything his mom and siblings thought him to be or was he just a simple hood?

"He's tough" Curly's answer was short once again but this time I could read a lot into it.

He didn't mean that Tim was just though as in street smart and a good fighter, he meant that he respected and liked him too. I had figured out when I first started seeing Curly six months ago that the gang looked up to Tim as a leader but still felt for him as a friend.

The biggest problem Curly had had with them was that they didn't thrust him even though Tim did and that they had known him since he was a kid who was following his brother around, they couldn't respect and follow him as a leader when they still saw him as a child.

I looked over at Curly as he was picking up a knife from his drawers and thought back to how he'd been when I met him. He had seemed much younger and more careless, his face had seemed to always smile and his eyes always sparkle, but he was older know, more mature and serious, forced to live his brothers life, a life not created for him but for another.

And I wondered again what that person was like to want a life of violence and crime, to lead his own little army against society, to rebel against his family and still end up with the winning hand.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks for all the reviews on my last chapter! Well, here's the next one and finally Tim's joining the story! Hope you like it and I hope you will review!_

The car came to a squealing halt outside of Tulsa County Jail; Curly pulled the handbrake forcefully and turned the engine off. I turned my head to look at him as he got out of the car without a word, a look of resolute determination in his bluish eyes.

He had been silent all morning, nothing like the exited little brother I had thought he would be, instead he had been tense and irritated. A nerve was twitching slightly by his right eye.

I was probably more exited about seeing his brother then he was, but perhaps he had a reason to be nervous, maybe Tim was that kind of person that simply made you nervous for no apparent reason. I climbed over to the back seat to get a better look at Tulsa's most famous hood, Tim Shepard, through the car window.

He stood about thirty feet away leaning against the brick wall of the prison building, his left foot on the wall under him in a relaxed manner. He was wearing jeans a white t-shirt and over it a short sleeved black shirt. He was smoking a cigarette, his face in a bored expression while he squinted his eyes against the bright sunlight.

As he saw Curly approach him he pushed himself off the wall and strode over to meet his brother in a cat-like predatory way. He seemed to be longer then Curly but he probably wasn't. He was thinner then Curly, his figure a more slender and graceful type then Curly's broad shouldered and rough one. Other then that they looked a lot like each other, their black hair identical except for the length, Curly's was long and wavy and full of grease while Tim's was cut short, less then half an inch left.

But there seemed to be something about Tim that Curly just didn't have, a presence and grace in all his motions that made you look at him.

He tossed the cigarette away and my eyes wandered to his hands, they weren't as big and squarely formed as Curly's, Tim's fingers were longer, like the fingers of a musician or artist.

Ten feet away from his brother he stopped and waited for Curly to come up to him, he stood there his face expressionless while Curly took the last steps towards him with his hands crammed deep in his pockets, his back a bit tense and his head held low.

I watched as Curly said something that made Tim smirk and nod. Curly's whole posture changed as he raised his head up and relaxed his shoulders and back. Tim was saying something and I smiled to myself as Curly grinned broadly at his brother all tension gone.

As they came up to the car Curly held the keys out to Tim who just shook his head and said something I couldn't hear through the window. Curly didn't answer he just jumped in and started the car up again.

As we drove off Tim turned his head to look at the prison and as his eyes swept lazily over the rear view mirror he caught sight of me in the back seat. He turned to Curly with a meaning smirk.

"Who's the broad?" His voice was a bit darker then Curly's who kept his eyes on the road as he answered grinningly.

"Oh, that's Stacey"

"Hi" I said wanting to be polite, but I drew a sharp breath as Tim turned to look at me.

I hadn't been able to see the left side of his face this close up before and from his temple to his chin ran a long pale scar. I felt myself blink as I tried to focus on his eyes instead.

He was smirking cunningly at me while his silvery blue grey eyes held mine. I felt unable to look away; his eyes were hard and cold but jet captivating and intriguing. Suddenly he turned around again chuckling to himself.

"Where'd ya find her?" he asked his brother in an amused voice.

Curly turned to him smiling confidently which made my heartbeat speed up.

"Party, she was talking to Pony so I took her of his hands" he said a dark smile creeping up his lips.

"Didn't know the Curtis' knew broads like that, thought they went for the nice ones" Tim stated as his steely eyes wandered over the familiar view of downtown Tulsa.

I felt my heart stop for a second, I wasn't nice?

"He didn't, he was scared shitless of her" Curly said throwing his head back with laughter and soon his brother joined him.

I didn't find it that amusing since I didn't know the people they were talking about all that much, but I did remember that boy I had tried to ask to dance with me at the school dance that night I had met Curly.

He was about a year younger then me but he had seemed more mature, his eyes telling the story of his life for everyone to read. To bad he hadn't been interested; he had just stood there looking awkwardly at his hands while I tried to hold a conversation with him.

I was glad when Curly came up to us and I received his blunt and carefree comments gratefully. He was more my type, though and outspoken.

As Curly pulled up to the house their laughter had died down but they were both still grinning widely. Seeing their mom standing by the door her hands clasped together tightly in a nervous manner, they stopped smiling abruptly.

I watched Tim, trying to find out what he was thinking but it was hopeless, his face was in a stony mask, his grey eyes gazing at his mother coldly making them look like liquid metal.

Walking up to the house Mrs Langston came to meet us, or Tim more correctly. I looked over at Curly who walked next to me; the nerve by his eye was twitching again. He seemed irritated, his jaw clenched as his dark blue eyes watched his mom.

"Timothy, I'm so glad you're back" she sighed as she pulled her eldest son into a tight hug.

It was almost touching the way she cared about him but as I felt Curly tense up beside me I changed my mind and anger started to boil inside of me.

Tim apparently didn't like his mother's display of love for him anymore then I did cause he broke free of her embrace, his eyes lingering on his brother who was standing beside me stiff as a statue. I flinched nervously as I recognised a small flicker of concern and love in them.

"Let's get inside son, I've made dinner" Mrs Langston said her usually cold eyes still glued to Tim.

Inside of me a small grotesque lump of hate was growing for the woman in front of me. Son? There were two of them.

Tim averted his eyes from his brother and staring at his mother in an irritated and tiered manner he stated;

"I ain't hungry" He walked briskly passed us all and in the house.

Me and Curly followed him as their mom called out to him;

"I'll just put it away so you can eat it later, ok?" When Tim didn't answer she repeated; "Ok, Tim?"

Half way up the stairs Tim just raised his hand to show he had heard her.

Mrs Langston rushed passed us to the kitchen and I saw Curly stare after her coldly.

We walked passed the living room where Angela was watching TV in her new hairdo; she had only waved at Tim as he passed by not even getting off the couch to greet him. She was too tied up in her program to meet her favourite brother for the first time in six months.

Lenny was nowhere to be seen, probably hiding out at some bar trying to avoid Tim.

As we walked up the stairs to Curly's room I felt my heart throb for him, he deserved so much better then that.

But then again didn't they all?


	5. Chapter 5

_Here's chapter 5, I just had to write it while it was still fresh in my mind! Hope you'll like it. If you do like it or even if you hate it please leave a review so that I know! Thanks to those two who did review my last chapter!_

I was doing the dishes, my hands deep down in the warm foamy water when the phone rang behind me. I let it ring, it wasn't my phone to answer anyway so I just continued with the plates from breakfast that I was dishing.

After three shrill rings I heard the eldest Shepard brother grunt loudly as he got off the couch and walked in the kitchen, picking the phone up.

"Yeah, Tim" he drawled in a bored tone while he leaned his back against the wall right behind me.

I could feel his hard eyes on me, making my skin crawl. I heard the person on the other end of the line talking and I heard Tim sigh uninterestedly.

"Angie, phone!" he roared and I jumped in surprise as he just dropped the phone and walked out, leaving it hanging from the wire.

I could still hear faint talking from it as I reached out a foot to stop it from swinging against the wall.

Angela came skipping down the stairs humming lightly to her self. Reaching the kitchen she picked the phone up and immediately began to chat mindlessly.

I spaced out not interested in hearing about who Rita Banning had messed around with this week and that kind of gossip.

Finishing up the dishes, which if I hadn't done would have been standing untouched for weeks, Angela never did any house work and Curly didn't have the time and he probably wouldn't have done it even if he hadn't been working, I got two beer cans from the fridge.

I didn't mind helping out with those kinds of things, it was quite relaxing to do dishes and cook. Mrs Langston didn't seem to be the housewife type, she was barely ever home and neither was Lenny which left Curly and Angel to fend for them selves.

I walked in the living room and up to the couch where Tim was sitting looking at the TV; he didn't seem to be watching it, as his stormy grey eyes looked right through the screen. He didn't even notice me as I stood next to him watching his hard featured face deep in thoughts. I cleared my throat to get his attention, feeling awkward about standing there silently. He didn't' seem to hear me and I tried again.

"Tim" His name sounded strange in my voice but I liked the feeling as it rolled of my tongue. He turned to me, his thoughtful face turning from sharp annoyance to cold indifference, as he raised an eyebrow questiongly.

"What ya watching?" I asked holding a beer can out to him.

He took it without a word and turned to the TV, wanting to find out what he had been watching, apparently having no clue.

"Eh…documentary" he said lazily, looking over at me again as I sat down opening my beer.

"Hurricanes" he added as the TV started showing pictures of destroyed homes.

His cold metallic eyes were off me again and were now following the program. His chin was resting in his right hand; his arm on the arm rest, while he managed to open the beer can with his left hand. He took a large gulp and put it down on his jeans clad thigh, I let my eyes wander to the TV not wanting to study him so openly.

But I really did feel like looking at him, there was something special about him, as if there were so many things going on underneath that hard mask and behind those silvery eyes. He intimidated and intrigued me. Perhaps it was just because I'd heard so much about him, but he just didn't seem to fit the picture I'd gotten of how he would be.

I slowly spaced out watching the hurricanes on the TV and felt myself relax.

We sat like that, on opposite sides of the couch watching as the programs ended and new ones began not getting up for hours, except to go to the bathroom or get more beer. We didn't talk to each other; we just sat there totally relaxed, letting the beer dull our senses.

His presence wasn't uncomfortable or awkward anymore, seeing his chest rise and fall in the corner of my eye was soothing in a strange way. I became familiar with the way he would offer me a new beer standing next to me, his eyes fixed on the TV not even sparing me a glance, and the way he threw himself at his corner of the couch, sliding down, his legs stretched out in front of him and his arms resting behind his head.

The shrill sound of the phone ringing woke me up from my thoughts, it rang two signals which Tim totally ignored or didn't hear, and then Angela picked it up, I heard her talking in a low voice and then she called out;

"Tim, for you!" she stood in the doorway holding the phone out to her brother with a sour expression on her pretty face.

Tim snorted tiredly as he got up, and as he walked passed me he treaded over my stretched out legs nonchalantly; his legs touching mine slightly, making me draw a sharp breath of surprise.

"Yeah Tim" I heard him drawl from the kitchen. He was silent for a bit and then he huffed annoyed at something.

"Yeah right…just fine…that's nice" His voice was calm but irritated, the last words filled with sarcasm

"Yeah, yeah…" were his last words as he hung up. I heard him draw a deep breath and curse through his teeth, obviously trying to keep his anger in check.

He walked back in the living room and sat down on the couch, but this time he didn't sit in his corner he sat down right next to me.

His whole being radiated anger and irritation and in his hard grey eyes, that were now black, I could see determination as he looked straight through the TV cunningly.

We were so close that our shoulders were touching; I felt the warmth from his body through my thin cardigan.

He stretched out to get a cigarette and lighter from the table next to me, as he did he bend over me and for a second his face was less then an inch away from mine. I felt myself freeze up inside as my face grew hotter. This close up his eyes looked almost blue.

Leaning back and lightning his cigarette in controlled and graceful manners a gust of his scent reached my nostrils; it was a warm spicy smell, the total opposite of his brother's fresh and cool one.

Tim didn't seem to be the least bit uncomfortable with the non existent distance between us seconds ago, but I felt embarrassed. Embarrassed to be that close to Curly's brother, my boyfriend's brother. I felt guilty, even though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong. But deep down inside I wondered why I thought he was so intriguing.

The front door suddenly opened and slammed shut and Curly walked in, a tiered look on his face as he wiped his hands of on his greasy jeans. I felt happy to see him, with him I felt secure and calm, my heart never hammered against my chest as it did sitting next to Tim.

But I guess Tim was that kind of person that just made everyone nervous.

"What a fucking day!" Curly exclaimed as he walked up to us, cracking his knuckles loudly.

Tim smirked up at him and offered him a cigarette. Curly took it and Tim lighted it for him. I smiled seeing Curly sigh contently as he took a drag and expelled the smoke slowly through his nostrils.

"It's bound to get worse" Tim said boring his frosty eyes into his brother as if willing him to understand what he meant, a scary smirk appearing on his stony face. Curly's eyes widened in realization as he watched his brother's face closely.

"Oh, fuck!" he stated and shook his head slowly as if trying to work things through in his head.

"I just bailed him out a fucking week ago!"

"Yeah well, apparently he fell asleep on the wrong park bench" Tim explained while rubbing his eyes tiredly.

I didn't get what they were talking about, who had fallen asleep on a park bench and what did it have to do with them?

"Let's just get it over with" Curly sighed and started to walk of, not even giving me a second glance. I watched as Tim follow his brother with his eyes, seeing both pride and worry in them, far beneath the frost. He got up and followed Curly out.

"Oh, Stacey was it?" Tim said smirking darkly as he turned in the doorway "He'll be back in an hour"


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks for all the reviews on my last chapter! This one was actually about twice as long but I thought I should break it up into two chapters, so here's the first and I will probably be updating the rest tomorrow. Hope you'll enjoy it!_

Browsing through the magazine mindlessly I wondered where Curly and Tim were. Tim had said an hour and that was five hours ago now. I was the only one in the house now, Angela had left for a party earlier, all dressed up in her shortest skirt. Mrs Langston was nowhere to be seen and Lenny still hadn't set his foot in the house since Tim got out. I didn't like being alone in the house, even though it was really small it seemed big.

Casting a glance at the clock over the kitchen door, it was half past twelve, I suddenly heard laughter and howling from outside.

The front door opened and I walked out the kitchen to be met by a crowd of greasers, guys and girls, and leading them in was Tim. He and another guy from the gang were half dragging half carrying Curly in. He seemed unconscious; his head hanging against his chest, bobbing from side to side with every step they took.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked; worry seeping through every word as I approached them.

The other greaser whose name I didn't know let go of Curly and walked of, leaving Tim to hold Curly up by himself. He was holding one arm around Curly's waist and the other he held onto Curly's arm that was thrown around his neck. It looked heavy but Tim only smirked amusedly at me.

"Nothin's wrong, he's just drunk"

Tim moved passed me with Curly hanging from him lifelessly. He looked really out of it and I was suddenly scared that he maybe was more the just drunk.

"Wait!" I called out and as Tim tried to turn around I walked up to him, grabbing Curly's chin and turning his head up to look at him. He looked as if he was sleeping peacefully.

"Ya sure he's just been drinking?" I asked Tim not looking at him; instead I opened one of Curly's eyes carefully, watching the pupil. It seemed normal.

Tim seemed a bit irritated with me now and Curly's weight seemed to be getting at him as he shifted the weight from foot to foot.

"Told ya nothin's wrong with him, I've seen him lots worse" he laughed at me, a cold and bitter laugh, his eyes darting from me to the stairs to the other greasers that was hanging around in the living room.

"Ya gonna stand there and watch or ya gonna help me?" he said the coldness in his voice making me shudder involuntarily.

"Perhaps we should try to wake him" I stated as I put Curly's head down again, it fell against his chest but he didn't wake up, he didn't even stir. I felt worried and scared, not knowing what to do.

Tim looked at me a sharpness in his eyes.

"Shut up kid and help me" was all he said but it was said with such force that I just grabbed onto Curly's other arm putting it around my neck and helped Tim to drag him upstairs.

It felt really awkward to be so close to him again, I could hear him breath, smelling the whiskey on his breath.

Up in Curly's room we dumped him on the bed and without a word Tim walked of, not even looking at his brother. I knew by then that he was probably right, Curly was just drunk and all he needed was rest so I walked down the stairs too.

I sneaked passed the gang in the living room and out the front door, not wanting to join them in their howling and drinking.

Outside I sat down on the railing of the porch looking out at the black night sky. I felt so sick of it all, sick of worrying about Curly, sick of my parents, sick of everything. Sometimes I just wanted something other then this life, but I couldn't put my finger on what I wanted instead and in the end I knew that this was all I was ever going to get.

I heard the door open behind me and I felt someone walk up to stand beside me, looking over I saw Tim lighting a cigarette as he scanned the front lawn with his hard black eyes.

He took the cigarette he had just lit up and passed it to me his eyes still on the grass, lighting another one. We smoked in silence for awhile, me still thinking about what I would have wanted if I could have anything. Nothing came to mind but I knew I didn't want this.

"Don't ya ever want anything more then this?" the question was out my mouth before I had time to react.

"Like what?" Tim asked his eyes never leaving the grass as he took a drag.

I looked at him, taking in his features, his rock hard eyes, his broken nose and cut hair; in the dim light from the windows he looked majestic, tall and glorious.

"Anything, everything, just something?" I said quietly, feeling dull and dazed.

Tim didn't answer; he just kept his eyes on the sky.

"Ya know, being free and all that" I tried, watching his face as he took a drag leaving the cigarette between his lips.

"Freedoms just a state of mind" he stated in an indifferent tone.

I flinched at that realizing that he didn't want anything more then this, he was content with this, and then I realized that he really was just a hood.

"Ya mean to say you're happy then?" I don't even know why I was so determined to find out about what he wanted and thought, it was just that he was like a mystery and I wanted desperately to solve it.

He chuckled and flicked the cigarette away. Looking down on mine, which I hadn't even touched I flicked it away too. We watched as they landed on the grass still glowing.

He took a step towards me patting my shoulder lightly still chuckling.

"You're talking to the wrong guy doll" he said.

Before he could pull away I grabbed his hand and held it, he turned to me a small flicker of surprise in his blackish eyes.

"No" I stated not really knowing what I meant by that but Tim smirked slightly.

"Is Curly cheating on me?" once again I had said something that wasn't all that thought through. Tim sighed at me and moved closer, the nearness making me drop his warm hand, he leaned down.

"Wouldn't know doll" he drew back and placed himself next to me, his hands gripping the rail as he looked up at the sky again, thinking.

I drew a sharp breath as he moved away, breathing in his warm smell, uncomfortable with being so close to him.

"Ya want me to guess, I'd say possibly, but like I said I don't know"

I sighed and let my eyes wander over the small lawn. I appreciated his honesty and I wasn't surprised. I had though that myself for months but it still hurt all the same. I wondered why Tim didn't just walk of now that I wasn't holding him anymore. Looking over at him his face was still hard and bitter but he seemed more relaxed a small smile at the corner of his mouth.

"Ya used to know Dallas Winston right?" I asked wanting to change the subject.

Tim turned to me grinning widely.

"That mother fucking…." He continued calling Dallas every word imaginable. It made me smile at his obvious fondness for the guy.

"I had a major crush on him when I was fourteen" I said laughing at myself. Tim looked at me laughing to, a melodious a heartily laughter.

"Ol' Dally always had a way with the ladies" he stated smiling, showing me two rows of white even teeth.

"From what I've heard you have too" I said blushing slightly as he turned his face to look at me, my eyes meeting his dark grey ones.

"Then how come I haven't had a good fuck in six months?" he said raising an eyebrow at me.

"You've just been out for two days" I said laughing.

"Time to go take care of that then" Tim stated and walked in the door, a smile still on his lips.

I smiled to myself as I sat there; thinking that perhaps he was right, perhaps there simply wasn't anything better to life then this. The thought wasn't as depressing as it should've been, I actually felt content with my life again.


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, sorry it took a bit longer to update then I thought it would, and sorry this chapter is a bit short but it's more of and ending to the last then a new one! Hope you enjoy!_

As I was walking towards the stairs that dull sense of understanding and acceptance of what was my life was still there. I felt not happy but calm and content about it; there was a strange sort of contentment in not wanting to change anything.

I thought about me and Curly and the fact that he probably was cheating on me, it didn't hurt me nearly as much as it should and I wondered how that was. I cared so much about him, and about Angela, I just wanted them to be happy, and Curly and me had so much fun.

He had given me so much, his love and friendship, a home to go to and a sister, him cheating didn't matter that much in comparison. What was between us was so much more then just a teenage romance, we were friends, and we were lovers. I mean I was so attracted to him that I just couldn't keep my hands off of him and I loved him, but still there was something different in our relationship in comparison to other teenagers.

Walking by the kitchen my head filled with pictures of Curly, I noticed Tim standing with his back against the wall inside, a pretty brown haired girl holding his hand and whispering something to him. Tim smirked and I saw a small twinkle of something in his eyes that made him look like a wildcat on the hunt. He looked hungry and I drew a sharp breath at the sudden dull throbbing in my chest.

Just as I walked by and mounted the stairs the front door opened. I turned and saw Angela tip toeing her way passed the living room, where the gang were still partying. When she was passed she walked on normally, probably thinking she had sneaked passed her brothers.

"Angie! Get in here" the cold but still almost gentle voice was heard as Angela came up behind me, she flinched and then sighed heavily.

I couldn't see her as she got in the kitchen, but I saw the brown haired girl walk out directly after, a forced disappointed smile on her face.

I don't know why I didn't just continue to walk up the stairs, but I didn't, instead I stood there glued to the spot listening.

"Do ya have a watch?" I heard Tim ask his sister calmly.

"Yeah" Angela answered, her voice betraying her insecurity. She sounded intimidated, as if she knew what was coming.

"Do ya have a brain?" Tim asked his voice both tired and hard.

In my mind I saw him standing in front of Angela his arms crossed over his chest, a stony look on his chiselled face.

Angela was quiet as he waited for an answer.

"What the fuck're ya doin' getting home at two thirty in the morning?" Tim's voice was now angry but he still didn't raise it.

To me that was even scarier the Curly's yelling.

"I was at a party, at Terry's… everybody was there… I had to go" Angela was rambling nervously; obviously she was as aware as me about the danger of Tim's calmness.

"I don't give a shit 'bout who was where Angela!" he spat out, a threatening edge to his calm and collected voice.

"What the fuck have I told ya 'bout telling us where ya are!" he continued angrily.

"I…but…I told Stacey" Angela's voice was weak and she sounded scared.

I felt my heart twitch for her but I still felt pissed about her telling Tim I knew where she was. Why drag me into it? She wasn't my responsibility, I couldn't tell her what to do, even if I often wanted to.

"Goddamnit Angie! I don't give a shit what she knows!" Tim sounded dangerously close to losing his temper with her.

"Why the hell do ya care so much all of a sudden Tim! You've never cared before!" Angela had mustered up some courage and was now really pissed.

A loud smack was heard and then it all fell silent, the laughter and howling in the living room seemed far away, just a weak noise in the distance. I could hear my own sharp and shuddering intake of air.

Angela came running out the kitchen and passed me on the stairs, her right hand pressed firmly to her left cheek. I watched her run of still too shocked to realize what had happened.

"Angie!" Tim called out, his voice still calm and cold but underneath it I heard regret and even fear.

Angela didn't stop and when I turned from watching her back as she ran up the stairs and continued down the hall, my eyes fell on Tim. He was standing in the kitchen doorway, his eyes firmly fixed on mine.

As my eyes focused on his cold, flashing ones I felt all his regret and anger fill me up inside. I felt totally cold and emotionless, a small flicker of hurt and worry at the pit of my stomach. Tim held my gaze firmly as he clenched and unclenched his right hand.

I blinked confused about all the feelings in my heart that wasn't my own and when I opened my eyes again Tim had his back against me and was walking away.

Lying in Curly's small bed later that night I tried to listen to his soft snoring, willing myself to sleep but my ears didn't obey me. Instead I kept listening to the weak sounds of moaning and giggles that was heard from Tim's room. He probably had that brown haired girl in there. At least his night seemed to end well I thought bitterly, wondering if Angel was sleeping.

Poor girl must be really sad, perhaps even shocked. I didn't know if hitting her was something that Tim had a habit of doing but to me he seemed as hurt and shocked as Angel about the whole thing. I felt sorry for both of them, sorry for Angela's hurt and Tim's regret.

My thoughts of their troubles were gradually replaced with images of Tim, his stormy grey eyes and almost sinister smirk. Seeing him in my head so clearly, that worrying feeling in the pit of my stomach that he had passed onto me grew bigger.


	8. Chapter 8

_Sorry for the long wait but I hope it's ok since the chapter's much longer then the last one! Anyway, thanks for the reviews and hope you enjoy it!_

I woke up the next morning feeling like I hadn't slept at all, my eyes felt puffy and swollen; I rubbed them trying to focus on my watch. Blinking slowly I realised it was late and Curly was still asleep beside me.

I sat up quickly and began shaking him but the only response I got was some deep growling as he kept his eyes firmly closed and his head buried in the pillow.

"Curly it's 8.30 in the morning, you're late for work!" I told him a bit too loud and too clear as if afraid he wouldn't hear me.

But he did and he sat up in bed his eyes trying to focus while he blinked and yawned. As his vision cleared the look in his eyes was a mixture of shock and realisation.

"Fuck" he muttered under his breath as I pulled on my socks sitting on the bed beside him.

He was off the bed in a second running around the room looking for his socks as he kept cursing under his breath. I watched him from the bed with a smile on my face; he looked cute running around like that, all dressed except for the socks, which I had removed when me and Tim put him to bed yesterday.

"Where're the fucking socks? Fuck, fuck, fuck…" Curly mumbled and then a look of pure green sickness rolled over his face and he ran out of the room.

I heard the muffled noises of him throwing up in the bathroom and I sighed wondering why he drank so much. Tim had been right last night, this wasn't the worst Curly had been, even I had seen him lots worse, but I didn't really get why he did it.

I got up and search the floor for a while quickly finding the socks he'd been searching for. Taking them with me to the bathroom I found Curly on the floor by the toilette, his unruly black sweaty curls sticking to his forehead.

"Frank's gonna kill me" he said faintly as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and got up off the floor.

I gave him the socks not bothering to answer him. Frank wasn't going to kill him, cause strangely enough he liked Curly and besides Frank was my dad's best friend so he wouldn't fire my boyfriend just because he was late. Frank was always partying with my parents himself so he would only give Curly a slap on the back of his head and then forget about it.

Curly put the socks on in a haste and ran down the stairs without another word to me, I shrugged and walked back to bed.

Sometimes Curly could be so indifferent and careless towards me as if he took me for granted, normally it would make my stomach turn but today I was too tiered to care.

* * *

As I was doing the dishes from mine and Angel's breakfast of plain black coffee, there wasn't much else to eat, the doorbell rang. 

Opening it I stood face to face with the brown haired girl Tim had been with last night.

She was beautiful, all her features clean and classical but still I felt my heart contract in dislike for her. What could Tim see in this girl? Probably nothing but an easy lay I thought, thinking back to some things Curly had told me about his brother's relationships, they were purely physical.

"Tim in?" the girl asked as she fixed her beautiful but empty eyes on mine.

"No, he ain't in" I answered coldly, not being able to keep my feelings about her to myself.

The look in her eyes turned defiant and angry.

"Just came by to get my cardigan" she said and flipped her long air over her shoulder and smiled confidently "I left it in his room last night".

I sighed in response to her hinting about her and Tim as if I didn't already know what had gone on between them in his room. I didn't want to be reminded cause the sounds from last night was constantly replaying in the back of my mind making a lump of uneasiness grow in my stomach.

"I'll just come back later, when he's home…" she began but I cut her off not liking the idea of her coming back.

"I'll go up and get it for ya" my voice was a bit sharp and a small smile was forming at the corner of my mouth.

As I walked upstairs I rejoiced in spoiling her plans of coming back, I didn't get why she bothered me so much but she did.

The door to Tim's room was slightly open and I paused outside for a second to catch my breath before I entered. I had never been in his room before, when he was in the slammer the door had always been closed and Curly had once told me that Tim didn't like people looking through his stuff.

I felt breathless as I walked inside, the same feeling I used to get the few times mum took me to church when I was younger. It was a feeling of walking in to something important and meaningful, something mystic and unknown.

The room was dark; the blinds were shutting out the daylight efficiently. There was nothing in the room except for a bed and a dresser, it was totally empty making the yellow cardigan easy to spot where it was thrown on the floor. All the walls where empty, the room seemed strangely uninhabited; the only thing being used was the bed from which I could distinctly make out Tim's musky scent as I inhaled.

I felt out of place as if I was looking at something I wasn't supposed to see and the sight surprised me. Then again Tim didn't seem to be a very materialistic guy but even Curly who didn't give a shit about things had some old sports posters on his walls and a chair to put his clothes on.

With the cardigan in my hand I walked out leaving everything as it was, walking downstairs I tried to get his scent out of my nostrils feeling my heart pound in my chest at the adventure.

Handing the cardigan over to the girl I slammed the door shut instantly after she'd said her forced and bitter thanks. I knew I was being rude but I didn't care cause my head was filled with Tim's scent and images of him was flashing through my mind and I desperately wanted them out.

As I turned from the door I saw Mrs Langston walk out of her bedroom in a grey dressing gown.

"Oh, it's you, I though I heard the door…" she stated calmly, her voice kind and warm.

I thought it strange that a woman with such cold eyes could have such a kind voice. She fixed her gown and looked up at me smiling slightly, the smile never reaching her grey stony eyes.

"Is Tim and Curly home?" she asked yawning.

"No, Angela's in the shower though…" I said feeling awkward about being alone with her, her cold eyes unnerved me as much as Tim's did.

They where very alike her and him, except Tim never screamed, according to Angela and judging by late night he really didn't. Perhaps Tim had his mother's eyes and his father's temper while Curly and Angela had their father's eyes and their mother's temper?

"Then I guess…" Mrs Langston thought for awhile, her brows furrowing and her mouth pursed "…I'll talk to them later".

She didn't wait for a response as she walked back into her room and shut the door.

* * *

Later that afternoon I was sitting in front of the TV watching some lame show thinking that I might as well have been at home with my parents, since Curly worked all days and Angela had her own friends. 

I didn't have many friends, before I met Curly I'd had some good friends but a lot of them had been hanging with the Brumly boys and even though Tim's gang sometimes needed them for fights they weren't exactly on friendly terms so now my friends and I didn't really hang out anymore.

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by screams and shouts from the kitchen. Lenny and Mrs Langston were at it again. All the high-pitched voices and screaming made it difficult to make out what they were arguing about and soon another slightly younger and brighter voice was heard as Angela came running down the stairs to join them.

"Shut up!"

"…cheating bastard…think I didn't see you?"

"Shut up bitch!"

And it went on like that for a couple of minutes before the front door opened and Curly and Tim walked in. Curly didn't even look at me as he stormed into the kitchen screaming.

"You can fucking hear ya from the end of the street!"

He didn't get any response though as they all started screaming in each others mouths.

Tim stood in the middle of the living room floor looking at me with a raised eyebrow and a slight and bitter smile on his lips. He was wearing white pants and shirt, looking as if he was working in a kitchen somewhere. Perhaps he did, I hadn't one clue as to what he had been doing before he went to jail except for the occasional robbery and car theft that Curly liked to brag to me about.

"Calm the hell down!" I heard Curly yell in the kitchen but the others didn't listen they where still screaming uncontrollably at each other.

Tim rolled his eyes at his brother knowing as well as I did that Curly's screaming only made the situation worse.

I heard Lenny's voice turn from angry to threatening but I couldn't make out what he was screaming or at whom. I watched as Tim's calm and relaxed face turned stony and dangerous, then he simply shrugged at me and walked into the kitchen.

The reaction was instant, Lenny fell quiet but the others still kept arguing.

"Missed me Lenny?" Tim asked in a cold and sarcastic voice and in my head I could see his wicked smile.

Lenny's response was not heard as the others kept yelling but soon Lenny walked out of the kitchen and through the living room, slamming the front door forcefully after him as he left. He looked almost scared but mostly angry. I wondered what Tim had said to him.

In the kitchen things where beginning to cool down and I could hear Tim laugh coldly to himself, it was an empty laugh that gave me chills. Curly was calming down their mother while she cried. I wondered if it was from anger och sadness.

I got up off the couch and walked in the kitchen just as Curly was leading his mother away to her room; he was rubbing her back tenderly and whispering comforting words in her ear. My heart twitched at the sight, he loved her so much and she didn't even see it, all she saw was Tim, the son who just laughed coldly.

In the kitchen Tim was leaning against the counter and Angela was sitting at the table looking at him and smiling, she seemed to have forgotten about last night and I could see a small flicker of happiness in Tim's eyes before they turned hard and unreadable again.

When Curly came back he walked up to me and threw his arm around me and kissed me on the cheek, he was sweaty and his hands where greasy but I didn't care I felt a great big happiness grip my heart and I hugged him greedily.

After releasing him slightly I looked up to find Tim looking at us a small smile on his lips, I met his eyes and they bore into mine as if searching for something, a shiver ran down my spine making me shudder involuntarily. Curly didn't seem to notice as he was wiping his hand on his blue work pants.

"Met Jack at lunch, he came by the workshop, wanted the gang to meet tonight, said he hadn't had time to talk to ya last night" he said looking at his older brother, a sense of seriousness mixed with mirth at the hints in his statement, in his eyes.

Tim averted his eyes from mine and seemed to freeze up a little, his stance tensing and he seemed colder and more distant then before.

"I have some things to take care of, but you'll take care of the meeting Curly." His words seemed a bit forced and he looked closed off as he pushed himself off the counter and walked out while scratching his unshaved face tiredly.

Curly stood his arm still around me watching his brother walk away with a look of wonder and amazement in his eyes, his mouth in a displeased frown.


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry it took me so long to update, have been busy at school. Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter and I hope you'll like this one too! Please do review!_

Sitting on the front porch steps I was bored beyond belief of being at Curly's when he wasn't there. All the nights this past week I had been expected to wait at his home for him while he was out with the gang doing lord knows what. I felt that I was at his house with his family more then he was and it was embarrassing.

Looking up suddenly I saw Curly walking up to me in an angry stride. His face was consorted in anger, his eyes flashing.

"Tim home?" he asked in a harsh voice as he reached me. He was standing towering over me, his nostrils flared and his mouth in a cold and bitter snare.

With the mention of his brothers name memories of this afternoon started to flash before my eyes. I shrugged at his question as I tried to shake the unmistakable feeling of guilt, that those memories planted in me, of off me.

But the way Tim had walked in the kitchen an hour earlier in nothing but his faded blue jeans was forever planted in my brain. I could clearly see the small droplets of water that were slowly finder there way from his shiny wet hair to his chest, making him glitter in the dim light from the lamp.

His chest and stomach were toned and muscular but still slim and almost thin, he didn't have those bulky and broad muscles that Curly had. He didn't seem to have noticed me where I was sitting at the table or perhaps he was ignoring me but I couldn't keep my eyes of off him.

Feeling my face grow hot my eyes raked over his body, taking in the many scars on his skin and the black tattoo right above his heart. It was what looked like a tigers paw clawing away at a bleeding heart. I remembered how my heart had hammered in my chest as I saw that tattoo and how my fingers had itched to touch it.

But I had taken control of myself and realised what I was thinking an who I was thinking of, and feeling as if my cheeks were a bright red I ran passed him and out of the kitchen, my backstabbing nostrils savouring his freshly showered soapy scent as I moved passed him.

"What?" Curly asked angrily waking me up efficiently.

"He was in an hour ago…in the kitchen…." I trailed of feeling myself blush at the memories of his brother's naked skin.

"For the last time Stace, is my brother in or not?" he asked his voice cutting trough my thoughts and waking me from my state of guilty daydreaming.

"Haven't seen him leave…why?" I was curios as to why he was so angry. I mean Curly was often angry but it rarely involved Tim.

I could see Curly visibly being relieved about the fact that Tim was home, he took a deep breath and blew it out in a low whistle.

"He's in, good…"

He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it while he sat down next to me on the steps.

"Why's that good Curly?" I asked him slowly, testing to see if it was an ok question to ask.

Curly's expression changed from thoughtful to fuming in a second and I felt myself draw back a bit in surprise.

"I'm gonna fucking kill that dickhead, I'm gonna kill him, that lying backstabbing motherfucker…" Curly was rambling.

"Who?" I pressed on, now more curious then ever.

"Ben!" he stated somewhat calmer "Tim's gonna tear that fucker into shreds!" He had an amused and content look on his face now.

I wondered what Ben had done, he was one on the gang, that I knew but that was all, I never had learned to separate one from the other in the gang; I only knew them by name.

Suddenly Curly flew up and rushed inside the house; I got up and followed him.

"Tim!" he called out as he searched the living room with his eyes.

"Yeah" a bored drawl was heard from the kitchen and Curly hurried in there.

"That motherfucker Ben's been talking shit 'bout ya…" he started before he'd even laid eyes on this brother.

"…said ya've been dissing the gang an' doing business with Chavez an' that stuff…" Curly was rambling in an upset voice but his brother just kept reading the newspaper where he was sitting at the table.

He was now wearing a white t-shirt and I thanked God he had the sense to get dressed.

"Ok" he stated his black eyes still fixed on the article he was reading.

"What ya gonna do 'bout it?" Curly asked excitedly, a restless sort of contentness in his voice.

"Nothin'" Tim said simply.

"What?" Curly called out surprised "Ya gonna let him talk?" he looked at his brother unbelievingly and angrily.

"It ain't that big a deal Curly, he's obviously wrong, right?" for the first time Tim looked up at his brother and all I could see in his eyes were cold calculation.

"Yeah, but he's been saying…"

"Look Curly just forget it" Tim suddenly looked tired and he got up and was about to move passed his brother when Curly put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"Ya ain't gonna do nothin' 'bout one of your own talking shit 'bout ya?" his voice was icier then I'd ever heard before and he was eying his older brother with unmasked disappointment.

Tim fixed his eyes on him and took his brother's hand from his chest throwing it back at him with force. He suddenly looked like a wildcat in a cage, wanting to rip his brother apart but trying very hard not to.

"Leave it" was the only words that came out of his mouth, but they were spoken with a forced and barely controlled rage.

Tim pushed his way passed his brother and walked out the door in angry strides while he cursed under his breath.

Curly stood watching him walk off with anger and disappointment in his eyes.

"What the fuck's wrong with him!" he asked turning to me while he raked a hand through his greasy hair.

"Maybe he's gonna take care of it some other way?" I said wanting to smooth things over. But in my mind I too wondered why Tim was acting so strangely.

"Yeah maybe…" Curly stated a small note of disbelief in his voice.

He put his arm around me and we sat down in front of the TV and while Curly was soon concentrated on the show I kept thinking of his brother.

He was probably just outside, since he didn't take either his jacket or his keys with him. I knew from sitting outside before that it was cold and being out there in only a t-shirt Tim would freeze.

Before I had even time to think about what I was doing I got up of the couch and walked overt to the chair by the door and pulled out Tim's jacket from underneath mine and Angel's. I was just about to walk out when Curly noticed me.

"What ya doin'?" he asked and my heart jumped up my throat and I felt that black sickening feeling of guilt grown inside of me.

"Just gonna give Tim his jacket…so he wont freeze…" I felt myself blush but Curly didn't seem to notice as he just shrugged and concentrated on the TV-show again.

Standing just outside the door I couldn't see Tim anywhere but walking down the steps to the small lawn I saw him standing with his back to me, leaning on the broken fence and looking out the street.

The moonlight raked over him making his skin shine like silver. I drew a sharp breath watching his hair glitter thinking that he must be the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, his back was straight and tense and he stood there like a god, almost unreal.

"Tim?" I asked hesitantly and he turned around his stormy grey eyes finding mine and once again I felt him pour his feelings into me, emptiness and a raging sadness. He turned from me again and looked out the street again. I felt myself getting pulled towards him, wanting to be near him, to understand him.

"Here" I said holding the jacket out to him and he turned once more, this time he didn't look me in the eyes but he took the jacket, careful not to touch me.

"Thanks" he said turning again and walking away from me and down the street without a second thought, whiles I was standing there watching him leave wanting nothing more then to follow him.


	10. Chapter 10

_Sorry for the long wait on this chapter, I really have no excuse. It has become a bad habit but I will try my hardest to get rid of it! So hope you like this!_

"Come on Stace" Curly mumbled as he hardened his possessive grip on my waist and let his lips travel over my bare shoulders. I felt myself freeze up inside, as I sighed and pushed him away.

But Curly wasn't a guy who gave up on something he wanted, he was used to getting what he wanted and taking what he thought was his to take.

"Damnit Curly!" I called out in anger "Don't ya get a hint!" I felt my heart contract with regret, as I saw a sharp flash of hurt and disbelief in his deep blue eyes.

But it was gone seconds later, replaced with lust and persistence.

Once again his hands were on me, now on my arms, from which they travelled expectedly over up to my shoulders and down towards my breasts.

I felt anger bubble up inside of me again, was he deaf?

"Come on Stace…ya know ya want it…" he said huskily as he pressed his body closer to mine.

"What the hell's wrong with ya? I said no!" I was screaming at him now, taking all of my anger out on him.

"What the hell's wrong with _you_!" Curly yelled back at me, as I took several steps away from him, breaking the physical contact between us.

It was something with the way he said it that made my throat dry up and contract, suddenly I couldn't breathe. He was right, what was wrong with me?

I never said no to Curly, I mean I love him, right?

I did love him but lately every time he touched me it was someone else I saw before me, it wasn't his blue eyes that I gazed into. And even worse was that the person I kept fantasizing about was his brother. I didn't want to but Tim was all I could think of and I couldn't even remember how it had happened.

Curly took a small step towards me and I backed away instinctively, the image of his brothers grey eyes printed in my mind. Curly froze up and I silently cursed my bad conscience for destroying our relationship, after all I didn't mean to think of Tim, it just happened and I desperately wanted it to just stop.

"Bitch" Curly spat out between his teeth, as he walked over to the bed and sat down rubbing his eyes tiredly.

I stood rooted to the spot feeling my heart break. My eyes clouded over with tears of hurt, anger, regret and guilt.

But somehow I managed to hold my head up high, as I walked out of his room and his house.

I walked around for what felt like hours, it was late at night and the early autumn winds ruffled my hair. It was starting to get cold and I had just decided to go home to my parents place to sleep, when I noticed a car speed past me and stop at the end of the street.

The person driving it seemed to be waiting for me and seeing as it was a socy car, a shiny red cabriolet, my stomach iced up and I stopped in my tracks not knowing what to do.

I stood there for a second trying to find out what to do. If I turned and ran they would catch up with me and perhaps they would get even angrier if I tried to run. But if I walked past them it was like saying "Come get me!" and I didn't want to provoke them.

As I stood thinking the car started backing towards me and I froze in chock, not being able to run even if I wanted to.

When the car came up parallel with me, the driver who was alone in the car turned to me and I stared at him in shock.

"Get in" he said smirking, but his blue grey eyes where still cold and detached.

I got in the car drawing a sharp breath, feeling my paralyzation wear of.

"God, ya scared me!" I stated smiling at him.

He started the car up again and speeded of. We were moving through the streets of Tulsa as if the devil were after us, leaving the inner-city and speeding towards the industrial outskirts of town.

"What ya doin' walking around at this time of night?" Tim asked, looking at me with a hint of seriousness in his cold, unfeeling eyes. "Curly know where ya are?"

I huffed at the mention of his brother's name and crossed my arms over my chest, my eyes fixed on the road ahead. I felt Tim watch me and then he started to laugh, it wasn't that cold and hollow laughter from last week but a genuine, heartily laughter.

I looked at him in wonder, as the smile on his face lit up his eyes and softened his hard features, he looked almost human.

Or perhaps it was the other way around, perhaps he was human when he was cold and hard, so human that he scared you and when he was smiling and laughing he was a god, an unreal hero from some old tale, beautiful and unreachable.

"Ya guys have a fight?" he asked, smirking teasingly at me and I scolded at him feeling like a little girl.

Keeping my eyes strictly on the road ahead, I noticed that we were now out of Tulsa, somewhere on the highway.

"Where ya goin'?" I asked, somewhat afraid of going to far from home.

"Just shaking the fuzz of my tail" Tim stated in a low voice, not taking his eyes of the road.

"Who's this car Tim?" I asked, feeling a slight smile at the corner of my mouth.

"Don't know but it's gonna make me a fortune" Tim smiled again and I wondered what he was thinking about, as his silvery eyes turned black and glittering.

"How?" I asked.

"I'm gonna sell it to a guy I know down this little shitty town in Arkansas" he said, smirking at me as he saw my mouth hang open.

"Ya gonna drive to Arkansas to sell a stolen car, and ya just felt like dragging me onto this little adventure of yours!" I demanded, feeling a bit panicky.

I was going to Arkansas with my boyfriend's brother in a stolen car. It was nerve wreaking and thrilling at the same time.

"Why?" I asked, still thinking about the fact that I was in a stolen car, what if we were caught? The fuzz would assume I was in on it too.

"Felt like some company…and you where just walking around so…" Tim concluded, his eyes searing the road signs.

"So you just decided to pick me up and make me your partner in crime!" I heard the sarcasm and the traces of bitterness in my voice, regretting it the moment it came out of my mouth.

But Tim just chuckled at me, shrugging of my sarcasm.

"Exactly" he stated.

I took a deep breath feeling all my nervousness disappear in an instance. At least I could relay on Tim not to get us caught. I knew he was a very accomplished car thief and he had never gotten caught from steeling cars. The things he had been in the slammer for where rumbles and physical abuse, never theft.

Besides I figured he wouldn't have picked me up if he thought he would get me into trouble, at least I hoped so.

But looking over at him as he was driving, his hard face consorted in deep thought, his eyes shining like crystals as he studied the almost empty highway like an eagle, not missing a beat, I felt my hope crumble.

This man didn't care about others; he didn't even care that much about himself. He just liked the thrill of being chased, perhaps being chased was the only thing that kept him going, that kept him running or perhaps it was the only thing that kept him staying, with his family and his gang?

I felt like I would never get under his skin; never get him to trust me enough to open up to me. Curly never opened up to me, he kept everything inside until he couldn't take anymore and took it out on someone else by picking a fight.

Tim wasn't like his brother, that much I had figured out, he didn't take his anger out on anyone and he didn't open up and talked about his feelings, perhaps cause he didn't have any, but I didn't really believe that.

I had seen emotion in his eyes several times even if it was just for a second. But where did he put his feelings, where did they go?

He had to get them out somehow, right?


	11. Chapter 11

_I was a little faster updating this time and I hope you'll like this chapter too. I know it's not all that filled with action but I like writing it slow so that all emotions and reactions isn't lost on you. Hope you like it!_

I blinked tiredly feeling the sleepiness melt away from my system as I sat up from my slouched position.

Looking around I realized I was still in the car and Tim was still beside me driving. Feeling something heavy on my lap I looked down to see Tim's leather jacket laying sprawled out over my legs. The same jacket that I brought out to him, that night when Curly and him had that fight.

It felt warm and heavy and from it I recognised a faint scent of leather, cigarettes and something purely Tim. I was so concentrated on the jacket that I didn't notice Tim looking at me with his intense and stony eyes.

"Ya looked cold" he said as an explanation and as I looked over to meet his eyes he averted his and fixed them on the road ahead.

Looking around I could see we were now on a smaller road in the middle of nowhere. It was probably about an hour to dawn since the sky was beginning to light up.

"Where're we?" I managed to mumble, I felt like I hadn't used my voice in days, it really was only an hour.

"Looking for a place to crash" he said and I watched him blink his eyes tiredly, concentrating on his driving. I searched the side of the road for signs, not willing to point out that I hadn't meant what we were doing, but where we were.

Suddenly Tim made a sharp turn and speed up, racing towards a group of small, low houses on the side of the road. As we got closer I could make out a sign that said Lloyd's motel´, the neon o in motel was broken and the rest of the sign was blinking.

Tim pulled the handbrake, making the car halt, the gravel outside the motel created a dry mist. He turned the engine off and got out of the car, without saying a word to me.

I watched him leave from the car. Walking over the gravel to the small wooden house that said Office´, he looked like a real hood.

His boots looked dusty and worn, trough his thin white shirt you could make out the tattoo on his chest and in the back pocket of his jeans his switchblade was sticking up for everyone to see. He walked in a purposeful stride, the cold wind not being able to freeze him up or ruffle his short hair; the cut clearly stated that he had been in jail.

As he disappeared behind the door of the office, I sunk down further in my seat, pulling his jacket up to my chin. It was cold, the kind of autumn cold that roams the nights but spares the day.

My thoughts drifted to Curly, wondering what he was doing. Was he worried about me? Probably not I thought. He was surly out finding someone to give him what I wouldn't give and somewhere inside of me I couldn't be angry about it.

Because maybe he was right maybe love wasn't real, or love was but fidelity wasn't. He'd regret it afterwards, I always knew he did, but he never told me. That's how I knew he was cheating on me, cause of his guilty looks.

But then again he never promised me he'd be faithful, not many greasers were. And whatever he did, I still loved him, more then I'd ever loved anyone.

"Come on kid" Tim's voice pulled me from my thoughts and I got out, his jacket still in my hands, following him to a small cabin further down a small gravel path.

"Get in" he said as he opened the door with a key and I moved passed him into the room.

It was small, only fitting a big bed and a small table with a TV on it and a chair.

Tim was about to walk off leaving me there when I reached out and grabbed him by his hand.

"Where're ya going?" his hand felt warm and rugged, like the hand of a man who'd worked all his life, although his fingers were long and thin like a pianoman's.

"Gonna give Curly a call, let 'im know where ya're" he said, his warm, heavy hand still in mine.

I flinched at the mention of Curly, remembering I was musing over the warmth of his brother's hand which I was holding. The lump of guilt grew bigger and nastier inside of me.

"Don't" I said, desperately clinging to Tim's hand, wanting him to understand.

Tim looked at me like one would look at a small child who was hanging onto you out of fear. Although I could see nothing but cold in his grey eyes, I sensed him pitying me for feeling the way I did about his brother. He felt sorry for me because I could feel love.

"Right" he said, untangling his hand from mine and taking a step back to look at me "Fine"

I drew a breath of relieve, happy that he let me get my way on this one.

I watched Tim as he closed the door behind out and walked passed me, turning on the TV and getting himself comfortable on the bed. He was half sitting, leaning his head and shoulders against the wall behind him, his legs stretched out in front of him.

I stood frozen to the spot, not knowing what to do.

"What's wrong with ya, ya scared of me?" Tim asked, a teasing smirk on his chiselled face.

I couldn't answer him as my mind was filled with his image, my mind repeating his words over and over.

"Don't worry, I don't make moves on other peoples girlfriends" he stated coldly. Something in his voice almost resembling a bitter kind of hurt.

As if I had insulted him somehow.

"That's not what I was thinking" I said, as I walked around the bed and sat down on the opposite side from him, mimicking his pose, but keeping a safe distance.

Tim didn't look at me, he had his eyes on the TV, but he didn't seem to be watching it.

I fixed my eyes on the TV and let my thoughts wander. What he said was probably true, he didn't take interest in other guy's girlfriends, why would he? He could have anyone, like that girl with the cardigan.

"Tim" I said, trying to get his attention but when he turned to look at me, I lowered my eyes to the jacket I was still holding onto. Realizing that I was still holding it, I put it gently on the bed between us, next to Tim.

"That girl from the party at your house" I said, my eyes still glued to my lap "Ya know the brown-haired one…"

Tim's eyes where still fixed on my face, but now he averted them and started to rummage through his pockets for his cigarettes.

"She came back the next day, when ya weren't home…" I looked up at him testingly, watching him light up a cigarette with fast and secure movements.

"…she wanted to get her cardigan back and when ya weren't home she said she'd come back later…"

I saw Tim flinch in the corner of my eye.

"…the thing is I told her I'd get her the cardigan so she didn't have to come back" I blurted it out, knowing I just had to do it and get it over with.

"So?" he asked in his cold and detached voice, making me jump in surprise. I thought he would be mad since Curly always told me to stay away from his room.

I looked up and met his hard grey eyes, unable to see anything in there.

"I went up to your room to get it" I said in a low voice, almost inaudible.

Tim didn't give me any hint as to what he was feeling about it, as he turned from me and fixed his eyes on the TV again.

"Curly told me ya don't like people to be in your room…" I said.

"…but I promise I just…"

"It doesn't matter" he interrupted me, his voice cold and indifferent.

"I don't have anything in there anymore anyway"

I didn't get what he meant exactly, what did he used to have in there, that he didn't anymore and that nobody, not even Curly was to see?

"Let's just watch some TV and sleep" he said and smiled a weak and bitter smile that didn't reach his eyes, his mind seemed to be stuck on something else, as he took a deep drag of his cigarette.

He was looking blindly at the TV and I studied his face, wondering about him and about me.

Why was I so interested in his life and his thoughts? What was it about him that was so strange and different? He didn't seem to be the guy that Curly had described, he wasn't as hard and mean.

He just seemed empty.

_Please, please, please review!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Sorry for the long wait, I just didn't feel like writing before but today I finally felt like it again, so here's the new chapter. Thanks for all the reviews, they're really heartwarming, hope you'll enjoy this!_

I opened my eyes slowly, blinking as I adjusted my eyes to the light that was seeping in from the broken blinds in front of the window. I didn't recognise where I was at first but slowly the pieces fit together, the cracked ceiling with the yellowish spots and the squealing bed.

I turned to the side slowly, almost afraid of what I was about to see there.

But as my eyes focused a smile crept up my face unintentionally.

Tim was laying on his side facing me. A hand supporting his face and the other tucked between his knees. His features were relaxed but even in his sleep he looked serious and hard. His facial features looked sharp and hard but his skin looked so soft that I wanted to reach out and touch him.

I suddenly found myself wondering what his eyes looked like when he first woke up in the morning. I didn't have to wait long for an answer cause soon he started blinking slowly and then he cracked an eye open, a glittering ink black eye focusing on me.

I felt stupid being caught red-handed staring at my boyfriend's brother like a love sick puppy and averted my eyes quickly, pretending I had been looking at the blankets we were laying on.

"Mornin'" he murmured as he rubbed his eyes, looking around the room with new focus.

I couldn't answer as I was still worried that he might think I was checking him out, my heart hammered against my chest and in my head I kept seeing his face as he had slept.

I heard him roll of the bed and sigh as he walked over to a small mirror hanging on the wall next to the door.

I still felt like I couldn't talk, but the longer it went without Tim saying something, panic crept up inside of me. And at the same time the logical side of my brain wondered why it should matter what Tim Shepard thought of me, why was I so desperate for him to like me?

"Ya not a mornin' person?" he asked suddenly, his voice rough and raspy, there wasn't a smile near his tone but still he didn't sound angry either.

I looked over at him and met his eyes in the mirror as he was trying to fix his short hair and he smirked at me, a confident and arrogant smirk that made his hard eyes glitter.

"Not really, no" I said still feeling uncomfortable about the whole situation, which made me take my eyes off of him and shift them to the carpet.

"We should get out of here, before the fuzz shows up" he said as he grabbed his jacket and went to the door.

I got up wondering where we were supposed to go from here, and as I walked towards Tim I noticed that some of the unease I had felt in his company this morning was starting to ebb away.

We walked out of the motel and up to the parking spot in silence. Then Tim halted and he got the car key from his pocket and tossed it to me as he backed away slowly.

"Get in the car kid" he simply stated as he turned around and walked over to the office. I watched him walk of; fascinated by the way his every step reminded me of a panther, slim and elegant.

Just as he was about to open the door to the office he looked over his shoulder and caught sight of me watching him and for a second everything seemed to stand still. He held my eyes with his cold greyish stare and then he smiled slowly, a genuine smile that softened his features and warmed his eyes. But only for a second and then he opened the door and stepped into the office.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and then I stumbled over to the car and got in.

I thought about what had just happened but my mind was to busy with running a picture of his smile over and over before my eyes, to try and think logical about it. I felt regret and angst bubble up inside of me for even thinking about him that way.

He was supposed to be Curly's brother and nothing more, he wasn't supposed to make my heart throb so hard and my head spin with images of him.

I loved Curly not him. I knew I did.

But still my heart wouldn't stop beating and my breath wouldn't catch as my mind kept spinning, Tim's eyes, his smile, his coldness, the calm anger that seemed to hang around him and his arrogant confidence.

"What ya dreamin' of kid?" Tim asked with a wink as he got in the car and we sped off.

I didn't know what to answer him, somehow I wanted to tell him the truth just to see his reaction, but he probably wouldn't care what I was thinking about so I didn't.

"Just wondering where we're goin'" I murmured as I kept my eyes firmly on the road ahead.

"Told ya before, we're goin' to sell the car" Tim stated "Cortez' shop's just half an hour away".

My fear of the fuzz finding us had faded away and was now replaced with the fear of what kind of character this Cortez could be. The way Tim had said his name it was obvious he respected the man but what kind of men did Tim Shepard respect? He was probably a first class hood, most likely worse then Tim him self if he had respect for him. But thinking that I calmed down a bit, because I hadn't seen the malice and rage in Tim that everyone seemed to connect him with. All I could see was emptiness.

After driving in silence for a long time we drove into a small town and Tim found his way on the streets as if he'd lived there all his life. He didn't stop, not even for the two red lights we'd faced on the almost empty main street, until we'd reached an industrial area; there he drove into a fenced and asphalted yard which was totally empty except for what looked like a large warehouse. There he stopped the car and honked the horn hard making me jump in surprise.

He turned to me, his face hard and cold.

"When he comes, just let me talk and stay cool, ok?" his eyes where like grey steel splitting through me like a sharp sword and I nodded slowly, all images of his smile had disappeared, shattered in my mind.

Tim reached out and put his big, warm hand on my shoulder slowly and his eyes searched mine and I felt like I was about to show him everything that was inside me but he just said;

"To be scared never helps any"

And then he was out of the car and I drew a long hard breath as I joined him outside, feeling like I was wearing my fright on the outside for everyone to see.

Tim looked at me and something flickered across his face and he started to move towards me with a hand halfway outstretched to me.

Suddenly a door in the warehouse opened and two men got out. Tim stopped in his steps and turned towards them, waiting for them to come to him. Much like how he had waited for Curly to take the last steps towards him outside the prison.

As the men approached I studied them, they were both long, and golden skinned, black haired men in their thirties. One of them was quite good looking and the other had a big scar across his neck, almost as long as the one Tim had on his cheek.

"Well, if it isn't Tim Shepard, the JD from Tulsa" The one with the scar said with an evil chuckle "Didn't know you were out" He reached his hand out to Tim who took it with a confident smirk and shook it.

"I knew, how ya doin' Tim?" The good looking one said as he embraced Tim in a hard hug.

"Chavez, what the fuck are ya doin' here?" Tim said giving the man a hard slap on the arm.

I tuned out as they started to talk about the car, wondering where I had heard the name Chavez before. No one seemed to notice me as I stood some steps away purposely hidden behind Tim's back.

The one named Chavez seemed to know Tim pretty well but the other man scared me, he looked mean and cunning but Tim didn't seem to mind that the man was unpleasant. Chavez presence seemed to lift the mood slightly and I was thankful that he was there cause the other man looked like he could've pulled a gun if he hadn't gotten the right prize on the car.

I felt uncomfortable seeing Tim like that, he seemed so different then what he was at home with his siblings or even alone with me. He was hard, mean and cold now, a businessman and a thief. But the worse part was that he was so distant.

Not once in the time they'd been talking had he looked back at me to see if I was ok, I had been standing behind him for forty minutes just listening when he and the creepy one finally shook hands and rolls of bills switched owner.

As the two men turned their backs on Tim and walked of I suddenly felt a warm hand seek mine and when I looked up at Tim he was holding my hand softly in his, he was barley holding it, a small wind would have torn his hand from mine but still my heart was beating madly.

"Come on kid" he drawled and dragged me of. I didn't understand what he was doing as he passed the car but still kept dragging me along. But the nearness of him, the feeling of his rough hand against mine had left me speechless and all I could do was point at the car in confusion.

Tim chuckled as he saw me point and pulled me to him roughly and to my disappointment he let go of my hand. My heart felt empty and cold again and I tried to look just like before not wanting him to know his effect on me since he obviously felt nothing.

"We're not drivin', we're walking to the station to take the bus to Tulsa" he said and kept chuckling at my stupidity.

He walked passed me with an arrogant strode still laughing and I watched him go cursing my own stupidity and the effect he had on me.


End file.
